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Insights | On Leadership

Failure Gets a Bad Rep.
June 15, 2024June 16, 2024

"Nothing Good has ever come from a Comfort Zone."

daniela_caine

Transformational & Trauma-Informed Breathwork Facilitator | C-Suite. Nervous coherence to unlock innovation, creativity and a resilient culture.

A friend just sent me this. “I’ve been reading abo

A friend just sent me this.
“I’ve been reading about a major paradigm shift in how we understand the nervous system — how critical it is to live ‘at home’ in our body so the mind-body connection can be healthy and thriving. And how living in our heads, detached from our nervous system, comes at serious detriment to our health.”

I’ve spent the last week having deep conversations with senior leaders across industries.

And it all comes down to exactly this.

When you experience fear. Control. Power over. Micromanagement.

The perception of self collapses. Confidence disappears. Access to creativity and innovation — gone.

Not because people aren’t talented. Not because they don’t care.

Because the nervous system is in survival mode.

Here’s what most people don’t know: the autonomic nervous system — the one running in the background, managing all of this — was thought to be beyond our conscious influence.

It’s not.

You can hack it. Using something you already have.
Your breath signals the body: it’s safe now.

Do that once and you feel it. Do it consistently and you move your baseline back toward coherence.

This is what I opened with in yesterday’s Coherence Express session.

Watch the first few minutes here.

#coherence #nervoussystem #leadership

Last week, familiar demons stopped by: "You’re no

Last week, familiar demons stopped by:

"You’re not where you wanted to be by this time."

"You haven’t achieved your goals yet."

"So much work, time, energy, and you’ve got little to show for."

"You’re not consistent enough."

"You’re a failure."

…

And then, on Sunday, at Stagecoach music festival, I'm with my daughter in Diplo's Honky Tonk tent, where her favorite DJ duo is playing their set.

She is holding my hand.

While dancing.

And I realize:

𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲.

This one’s for my Adidas people from the late 90s.

This one’s for my Adidas people from the late 90s.

When you know, you know…

——

I loved that set. I love that song. And I loved the significance of the visuals.

But it also hits a sore spot.

Why is it still for me to speak my truth as clearly as Greta has has since she was a child?

Here’s what I grew up with:

Don’t air your laundry in public.
It’s safer to be seen than heard.
But when you’re seen, you’re also in danger.
Don’t be too much.
Don’t take up too much space.
Honor the hierarchy.
Don’t question the leaders — or you will suffer the consequences.
So I learned to stay quiet.

I’m afraid of disappointing people when I speak my truth. And through my work, I’ve become so non-judgmental — to be able to stay curious about someone’s inner world and the understanding that “bad people” aren't born that way but were indoctrinated.

The deeper I go, the harder it is to judge.

I understand how upbringing shapes what you believe is possible. I understand the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck.
I am working through that every single day.

And I also know this:
What we’re seeing in the outer world is the shadow of the collective inner world. What we tolerate. What we’ve become numb to. The places where we betray ourselves, suppress our own voice, accept as normal what was never okay.
The work always starts at the individual level.

I need to break through my own limitations to become everything I have the potential to be.
Working on it.

Out loud.

Right here, right now.

Source: Coachella. Fatboy Slim set.

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